People who are festive live better longer lives. 🎄 (2024 edition!)
Why the "F" word can add a few years to your life-- and how I do it!
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Last year I wrote about my approach to living longer— no, not exercise and salad, though those help— being festive as fuck, excuse my French. People who delight in stupid made-up holidays, late-stage capitalism driven or not, are set up for longer, happier lives. I don’t make the rules, but I’m pretty sure there’s something scientifically real to be said for finding and creating joy and community at every opportunity. If you’re lost, craving connection, seasonally depressed, or just feel like the holidays are more a chore than a FUN few months, I’m inviting you to shift your perspective.
I wrote one of my most popular posts at the time about this last year! I removed the paywall so we could enjoy it again.
People who are festive live better longer lives. 🎄
This issue focuses on Christmas and New Years because I like and celebrate those two holidays, but I think there are still exciting things to do or consider here even if you do not. :)
I am older and wiser now, so we’re doing a 2024 edition here, updated with more ideas and wisdom du jour!
I have always enjoyed a good tree, but I didn’t start going really feral for the holidays until relatively recently. I could attribute this to age— I also suddenly really started caring about placemats, genuinely enjoying shopping at Pottery Barn, purchasing gravy boats and inviting people over for dinner in a way that feels starkly different from my twenties.
The real reason, I think, is a bit more sentimental. In 2020 I lost my aunt, who I felt very close to. My mom’s sister was so markedly different from many of the other adults in my life— she was like galactic president of the holidays. She had decor for every season or minor holiday. She could meet a stranger at a Rite Aid, become their best friend, and make them feel incredibly welcome in her home. She had that ease of hosting and entertaining where she was genuinely herself, calm, and comfortable 1000% of the time. There was no fussing, squawking or stressing over company (at least not that I saw), which is something I aspire to. My own mother was excellent at having company and hosting, though our vibe at home was always a little more California Casual Pottery Barn Liberal. My aunt had Christmas decorations on their roof. She owned a crockpot. I left out the most important part: she was born on Christmas Day!
Since losing my aunt four years ago today, there has been an exquisitely painful crater in my life and in my family. Christmas used to be her holiday— and now the rest of us have fractured a bit, stumbling. Her absence is too painful for some of us to bear. I can never fill that hole.
But we bear enough of a resemblance in personality and sense of humor that I can feel my aunt in my bones when I open up my doors and invite people in to celebrate, laugh, and be festive with me. I feel her when I make a lopsided Christmas cake or cackle with glee over a snowman shaped wine stopper. When I prep the sugar cookies I am going to gift my mailman, I feel like a little bit of her lives.
I feel lucky that I got to know what it felt like to have someone with that much unbridled generosity, charisma and warmth in my life— and even though we only had 25 years and change together, I studied her approach to life and loving her friends and family enough to know just a little bit about how to go about making people in my life feel that warmth too.
And we need it, too— while my friends don’t know what they’re missing or where my unbridled holiday festivity power source comes from, my family needs some of her magic back. Without even thinking about it too hard, I’ve taken up the mantle of EXTREME FESTIVITY these last few years, and I feel particularly bullish this year. (So bullish that much to my boyfriend’s chagrin, my Christmas tree went up weeks before Thanksgiving— which really did cost extra. To me, it was worth it!!)
Thank you for indulging me in remembering someone I loved very much and lost very painfully. I know too many of you know what that feels like. Woof! I didn’t expect to cry today. Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday, Ang.
The obvious beginning of this journey is to transform your surroundings— what I love about being FESTIVE is that the holidays engage virtually every sense. Smell, sight, taste, sound… and it’s possible to do that all in your own home? Simply fabulous.
The older I get the more my penchant for Christmas decor escalates. Some of my favorites and what I’m gravitating to this year linked here. This is my Magna Carta, so if you click no other link, tap this one for my draft picks.
I am more of a CB2 neutral metallic and glass ornament gal than a kitschy or overtly red-and-green-tree gal, but all of my friends do kitsch for their holiday decor. I love Furbish for their bright and happy wares, and Anthro is absolutely firing this season too.
I don’t feel like it’s truly December unless I have more of the classic Williams Sonoma Peppermint Bark than I physically know what to do with. Very intrigued that this year they’ve made one into a coffee syrup… do I dare!? Williams Sonoma just hits the back of my brain so good. Whenever I look at their site it’s 1996 again and I’m leafing through the catalog in bed with my mom on a Sunday morning while Jacques Pepin is on the tiny TV in the corner, probably making some 90’s thing with sundried tomatoes.
Hosting is so fun this time of year! I’m leaning in with a little moodboard for my ~girls only~ Christmas Party this year— click here for my zany Pinterest inspiration.
In early November I swapped out my hand soaps, dish soaps and detergents with refill and refillable holiday varietals from Grove Collaborative! It was not expensive at all, but it brings me a ton of joy to wash my hands with a hand soap that smells a little holiday-y.
Some folks love simmer pots to make their homes smell good this time of year. Personally, I am a candle gal, and a particular one at that. Here are my very-much-vetted scent recs for this time of year:
Snif’s Lost Claus and/or Old Saint Wick
ANY version of the Thymes Fraser Fir candle, which is fabulous
Have you considered making fondue? Just a thought.
These Emily Lex watercolor books are everywhere and I just love the Christmas one!
I visited my grandparents a week ago and treated their house as though it was mine, as many grandchildren are wont to do-- I pulled down a bunch of old cookbooks and magazines and had a fabulous time with this special edition glossy covered mag on holiday entertaining, published in 1982. I saved a few recipes I'll be trying this week!
My personal final frontiers that I have yet to get into are: advent calendars, outdoor decor (impossible in a NY apartment), decorating our bedroom and entire home for Christmas with holiday bedding and accoutrements, having multiple trees (one for the living room and one for the dining room), and wearing Christmas-specific decor.
I am almost positive I will do most— if not all— of these things next year.
🙃
Garlands, trees and all of the fun fragrant things can be pricy— Trader Joe’s sells Christmas garland and tree branches. String them together with twine or a beautiful ribbon and you have your DIY garland. Also, DIYs are very ~holiday spirit!~ to me. The whole “bow” trend comes at a perfect time for those hoping to decorate their homes on a budget— you can recycle old ribbon or pick some up at Target or a craft store and decorate your entire place by literally tying a bow on it.
Speaking of ribbon and DIYs, here’s an easy one to try to emulate at home.
Plan a Christmas movie bingo card or bucket list. This is one of the best parts of this time of year, getting cozy, lighting a candle, and watching a terrible movie together. You could honestly skip almost all the rest and do this and still have a lovely time!
I love some of the DIY gift ideas floating around. I think it’s cozier and more personal in an era where there is so much to buy and everyone has wildly different taste. This TikTok has some good ideas as starting points! I had wanted to do the custom plates and also paint some candlesticks with bows and holly but realized that making custom cookie boxes along with a gajillion other things I had planned and DIYing a dozen gifts in the same evening was not… wise.
Setting the mood with a great Christmas playlist is absolutely free. This Ralph Lauren inspired Christmas playlist via TikTok has been doing it for me!
Another good one: Nostalgic Vintage Christmas Party! (I like classic, can you tell?)
If classic isn’t your thing, I adore Sabrina Carpenter’s Christmas release and can’t wait to watch her Christmas special.
I love festive wrapping a little too much, but in my founder years (and let’s be real, the years soon after) when I didn’t have two nickels to rub together, I had to get really creative with what I was gifting. There was not budget or bandwidth left over for wrapping, so I got a massive roll of industrial Kraft paper and wrapped gifts in that. I doodled festive designs on the brown paper and used velvet and satin ribbons I’d been hoarding over the years. I liked the effect under the tree— the same paper, but lots of shapes and sizes and ribbons!
I love sending thoughtful holiday cards, but they get expensive fast if you have more than 6 or 8 people you want to write a note to. I liked this idea— making your own!!
@jennabstudio🎀Love is in the air for Day 5 in our watercolor Christmas card series. To paint healthy, natural shaped mistletoe you will want to focus on brush strokes. With vibrant green paint already on your brush - apply gentle pressure to your brush, drag for a single second, then LIFT to the tip of your brush to give a seamless edge to your leaves. 🙋♀️Adjust the water:paint ratio you use for each leaf to create different values of green and more visual interest within the bunch #christmascardmaking #holidaycheer #crafting #mistletoe #12daysofchristmascards
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These aren’t all New York specific, though I couldn’t leave out NYC. It’s my favorite time of year to live here!
New Yorkers would be remiss to not partake in any of the obvious festivities. While I’m devastated Saks killed their light show this year due to budget cuts (if that ain’t a sign of the times, I don’t know what is…), there’s still so much to do! Try:
A viewing of Elf accompanied by a live performance of the score by the NY Philharmonic
Nutcracker, Rockettes, and more!
Meeting a friend for a holiday cocktail at Rolf’s, Oscar Wilde Bar, Thief, or just a classic winter vibe at King Cole or Bemelman’s
I thought this holiday gift swap idea via TikTok was kind of cute!
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browserIf you have a natural opportunity to go ice skating or sledding, I’m jealous of you and I think you owe it to both of us to go make that happen.
Any more festive favorites or ideas? I’d love to hear about your traditions— new, old, and future!— in the comments. :)
Here! Here! For Christmas cheer! I need ALL of those candles, though.
LOVE the Pinterest Party inspiration + honestly this whole post gives me the best, festive holly jolly vibes. I'm really feeling the Christmas spirit this year!